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m / croissant & coffee / pool / airport / home t / office / focaccia / mimi’s / hill / piano bar w / office / thrift & call / whole foods / enchiladas th / wfh / michael’s / rainy bike ride / fine time / do si dontcha f / office afternoon / heytea / pacific trimming / home / signs s / sewing / la apparel / stone street / whole foods / rooftop sushi / downtown social s / 7:45 wakeup / watch half marathon / cuna brunch / chelsea flea / call mom / boba / early night
crying on 26th street, feeling dumb then feeling dumb for feeling dumb then feeling mean for feeling dumb for feeling dumb. the dog and the lizard and the bear and they’re all coexisting, not following me or anyone else. wild horse, respect the autonomy. many happy lives. how do you like spending time alone. what’s selfish or easy or hard. inevitable change, immense gratitude. hug the horse & look out at the view.
buying souvenirs makes me feel like an adult. knowing a future where i never forget this and have 1000 more moments under my belt and on my shelves.
crisp twin bed. remember and cherish. dirty feet. young and nimble. sexy and holding each other and laughing out loud. folding table on a pile of seaweed at the water edge. grandiose and perfect. warm pool and blinding sun.
cancun ocean chasing its own tail. repetitive, joyful like puppies. random, rain or shine. gemma tells me everything it touches is public. my feet and my shoulders. again and again and again.
my grandma told my dad she wants pictures of where we live. she’s sad she doesn’t know those simple everyday things like what our living room looks like.
blizzard number 2. snow day in prospect park on aptly named “sledding hill”. there until the sun sets. 12 friends come. hot cocoa in new york themed mugs and a huge pot of ramen with pork and soft-boiled eggs and for dessert some pillsbury chocolate chip cookies and we watch a 2000s movie.
at line dancing if it’s someone’s birthday someone brings a cake and someone else designs and prints stickers with the special person’s face on them. i’ve been on sticker duty 3 times now and it’s very special to me.
two games of wingspan. new expansion. you need to keep your schedule packed in winter so that the time keeps moving forward and spring comes again. last min happy hour on wednesday. push and pull of all the people we know, we agree that other world is like a drug. then i go up to the UES to see marty supreme and wake up at 7:30 for tompkins and a packed subway home. thursday second day in a row with last minute text for happy hour. talk about a true postgrad life. 4th ave pub with macy and frankie then gold star with lenny then to spritzenhaus. old friends, really old. are we still the same? a few new friends. we all smoke cigarettes on the stairs while i wait for our uber.
life in my hands. stagnation comes from feeling like i’m not doing enough with that. non-prescriptive, hopeful, still one foot at a time. one is better than none. recognize what i’ve taken as inspiration to take another.
smoking on tiny lower east side fire escape. it’s basically summer at 38 degrees. delicious. crying laughing. we come up with trios to assign ourselves to. definition in relation to my friends. i’m a living and sexy thing in a backwards hat. embrace what i choose and what chooses me.
long weekend
room to grow and wiggle and giggle in the space and come into my own on my own terms. trust myself.
t / wfh / hill country w / office / palentine’s at kitty’s th / TJ’s errands / office afternoon / single rose / moma store / tap room
monday : wfh / breakfast tacos / yarn shopping / poem memorization / economy candy / t-mobile errand / booking flights to cancun / chicken noodle soup / knitting handwarmers / bedtime / woke up at 3am and threw up i think because of the candy having food poisoning reminds me i’m an animal. no better way to practice being physically present in your body, right?
perfect sunday → tompkins square bagels → pluribus at home → four seasons & rembrandt at the frick → ice in central park → william the hippo and impressionists at the met → quick kebab restaurant → sky rink playoff hockey game → hot chocolate and white wine at chelsea square restaurant
unexpected friends this weekend nice manager at chelsea square restaurant who laughed at/with us about our hot chocolate and brought us free cake woman at the met who asked me to subscribe to her youtube channel where she enthusiastically asks strangers if they’re lonely security guards at the frick who were talking about who will win the superbowl and randomly asked for my input friendly man at the frick who asked if i knew “what the deal was” about the rembrandt then found me again later in front of the rembrandt self portrait sydney and aleko
transcription of having a coke with you by frank o’hara
commune and chairman of the board by helen frankenthaler wire sculptures by ruth asawa cycladic frying pan objects four seasons by flora yukhnovich the polish rider by rembrandt having a coke with you by frank o’hara la orana maria by paul gaugin bad bunny superbowl halftime performance
m / 5 hours at panera / cane’s / holiday inn / knit hat t / tacos / wfh / silk emojis / common country reunion w / office / sunrise facetimes / heytea jasmine pistachio / fajitas th / office / heytea bogo / hadestown again f / wfh / jin-hee / banana boat / kitty’s / hill country / rony’s / UES s / blundstones / silk / knitting / ramen thukpa / yume opening / pluribus
silk communities launched :) yay
m / wfh / knitting / silk t / chase bank / hill w / banana pudding / office / din w neighbors th / tied wingspan w mik / reunion @ donburiya & pub f / tap room s / williamsburg s / asawa @ moma / buckwild
"the lows i’ve experienced before and the highs are completely new and magical” ever-new & ever-evolving frameworks, models, narratives. whatever i might want, whatever i can think of & whatever i can’t see coming.
snowmageddon day 1/25/26 wake up film snow on roof oatmeal breakfast knitting & youtube jazz steal mikayla’s snowpants meet brit on train pb choco cookies 68th st station, central park pilgrim hill aaron + nico + david mikayla + will + alex freezing toes transfer at canal st reheat chicken noodle soup broncos loss more knitting half an enchilada brit made rice krispies silk communities vc
finished wuthering heights on my plane ride today. why do all these people suck.
a good life that’s quiet a good life that’s busy
doll = intuition goodness, peace knowledge, wildness a part of a whole talismanic autonomy broom = clearing thoughts, feelings make space for new laundry = old patterns things woven in & discarded
possibility flickers, try not to get too attached to any one outcome.