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back in town 3 days in office. free massage. 3 trays of naya. after work: levy gorvy, strand bookstand, mixue, tap room, photos, williamsburg rooftop, old mates weekend: edith’s, athena’s 1st birthday, frannie’s 25th birthday, long nap, soho brunch mimosas → shopping → hockey game → hudson river park → citibike → tacos & ice cream → buckwild

everything goes right that needs to go right

stagecoach

april 30-3 palo alto 4-5 connecticut 17-18 maryland 23-27 indio

new tattoos on my knees some things you can’t change what would you do if you could do anything connection to place reconnection to people permanence and transience transience of place and feeling do what’s best for you spring is here! put nails in the wall

the cherry blossoms help me remember

4 days in the bay area

mosaic driverite williamsburg knee tattoos immune system 3k in taxes to nyc dream about stella american woodcock wingspan bonus cards private instagram story anderson collection rothko

10 days at home

hide and seek pushing on the swing show me the leaves picture on bear statue counting concrete orbs decomposing squirrel head

sitting on the back patio. 90 degrees in colorado but the shade is perfect and i sit until the sun is high enough at 12:30ish that the couch is in the sun and the tops of my feet start to burn. i want a tattoo of the virgin mary, a horse, a cactus, something ornamental, a mermaid, a cheetah or a tiger, one of those classic ones that say mom on a ribbon over a heart. my dog sits on the couch with me, in the shade of the picnic table, in the sun of the back corner, in the shade by the tree. every time there’s a breeze she sniffs.

march 1-5 nyc 6-9 cancun 10-18 nyc 19-29 boulder 30-3 palo alto

3/9 - 3/15

crying on 26th street, feeling dumb then feeling dumb for feeling dumb then feeling mean for feeling dumb for feeling dumb. the dog and the lizard and the bear and they’re all coexisting, not following me or anyone else. wild horse, respect the autonomy. many happy lives. how do you like spending time alone. what’s selfish or easy or hard. inevitable change, immense gratitude. hug the horse & look out at the view.

buying souvenirs makes me feel like an adult. knowing a future where i never forget this and have 1000 more moments under my belt and on my shelves.

crisp twin bed. remember and cherish. dirty feet. young and nimble. sexy and holding each other and laughing out loud. folding table on a pile of seaweed at the water edge. grandiose and perfect. warm pool and blinding sun.

cancun ocean chasing its own tail. repetitive, joyful like puppies. random, rain or shine. gemma tells me everything it touches is public. my feet and my shoulders. again and again and again.

my grandma told my dad she wants pictures of where we live. she’s sad she doesn’t know those simple everyday things like what our living room looks like.

blizzard number 2. snow day in prospect park on aptly named “sledding hill”. there until the sun sets. 12 friends come. hot cocoa in new york themed mugs and a huge pot of ramen with pork and soft-boiled eggs and for dessert some pillsbury chocolate chip cookies and we watch a 2000s movie.

at line dancing if it’s someone’s birthday someone brings a cake and someone else designs and prints stickers with the special person’s face on them. i’ve been on sticker duty 3 times now and it’s very special to me.

two games of wingspan. new expansion. you need to keep your schedule packed in winter so that the time keeps moving forward and spring comes again. last min happy hour on wednesday. push and pull of all the people we know, we agree that other world is like a drug. then i go up to the UES to see marty supreme and wake up at 7:30 for tompkins and a packed subway home. thursday second day in a row with last minute text for happy hour. talk about a true postgrad life. 4th ave pub with macy and frankie then gold star with lenny then to spritzenhaus. old friends, really old. are we still the same? a few new friends. we all smoke cigarettes on the stairs while i wait for our uber.

life in my hands. stagnation comes from feeling like i’m not doing enough with that. non-prescriptive, hopeful, still one foot at a time. one is better than none. recognize what i’ve taken as inspiration to take another.

smoking on tiny lower east side fire escape. it’s basically summer at 38 degrees. delicious. crying laughing. we come up with trios to assign ourselves to. definition in relation to my friends. i’m a living and sexy thing in a backwards hat. embrace what i choose and what chooses me.

long weekend

room to grow and wiggle and giggle in the space and come into my own on my own terms. trust myself.

t / wfh / hill country w / office / palentine’s at kitty’s th / TJ’s errands / office afternoon / single rose / moma store / tap room

monday : wfh / breakfast tacos / yarn shopping / poem memorization / economy candy / t-mobile errand / booking flights to cancun / chicken noodle soup / knitting handwarmers / bedtime / woke up at 3am and threw up i think because of the candy having food poisoning reminds me i’m an animal. no better way to practice being physically present in your body, right?